


Yes, We're Actually Doing This

by newsonthemoon



Category: Ghost (Swedish Band)
Genre: Cats, Churches & Cathedrals, Cults, Gen, Hazing, Initiation, Loss of Limbs, Mild Gore, Occult, Wacky Satanic Hijinks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 10:38:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10012397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newsonthemoon/pseuds/newsonthemoon
Summary: Upon initiation into The Church of Ghost, new members must undergo a number of trials to test their loyalty to the Clergy. Unfortunately for Water, that number isn’t zero. Or, “How Alpha almost lost his hand twice in one day.”





	

A chill ran down Water's spine as Aether pushed open the heavy oak door, beckoning her through the threshold. She ducked her head through the door to peer inside, eyes straining in the dark. After a moment of waiting for her eyes to adjust, she could make out the shape of the first few steps of a stone staircase.

“No handrails?” Water said, cautiously stepping inside.

“Nope. Try not to look down,” Aether said, shutting the door behind them and stepping past her. The loud slam of oak against oak jolted her forward, her bag nearly slipping from her hand.

“Doesn’t the Clergy have people who can do this for them?” she asked after a moment, voice quavering slightly.

“What do you think we’re here for?” Aether said. A pause followed as he retrieved his flashlight, flicking it on and pointing it down at the steps in front of them, “Relax, you’ll do fine. And count yourself lucky. Least all you have to do is feed them. Before, you had to stay down there overnight.”

Water didn’t answer, one trembling hand trailing against the wall as she began making her way down the steps. It wasn’t until they’d reached the ground that she worked up the nerve to speak again. She let out a relieved sigh after the final step, hoisting the bag higher on her arm.

“What is it exactly that I’ll be feeding?” Water asked, “Some kind of demon?”

“Worse,” he said, “Cats.” Water wrinkled her nose, smiling under her mask.

“All this fuss over some cats?” she asked. If he could joke at a time like this, she might as well go along with it, she thought.

“Yeah, kind of,” Aether said, looking away. He turned a corner, leading her down the hall, “They’re Church Grim. Or, you know, they would have been.” Her smile fell.

“Wait, are you serious?” she asked, “That’s what you guys have been calling ‘unnatural abominations’? Cats?”

“To be honest, they _were_ cats, when we found ‘em. The higher-ups had this idea that we could sacrifice them, do this whole resurrection thing, they’d return as ghostly apparitions, we’d get some pretty sweet guards out of the deal, you know. But the ritual didn’t work out too well, and Papa didn't have the heart to get rid of them after.”

“What happened?” she asked, wide-eyed.

“The sacrificing went alright, but Papa wasn’t paying attention, a couple pages in the instructional book got stuck together, the cats kind of came back wrong afterwards…” he trailed off, “You know, it’s a long story. You’re better off just seeing for yourself.”

“I guess,” she sighed. After a pause, she added a hopeful, “Will I be done with these trials after this one?”

“Can’t be many left,” he said, waving his hand dismissively, “I think all you have after this is having the dogs released on you at the next ministry meeting.”

Water stopped dead in her tracks, “What?”

Aether walked a few more steps ahead of her, before suddenly coming to a stop as he turned the flashlight to the floor. The light hit a cellar door, a simple wooden panel adorned only with an ornate, rusted handle in its center.

“This is our stop!” he said.Water sighed again, before stepping up next to him and setting her bag down on the ground with a heavy thud.

“Just how many cats are down there that I need this much to feed them, anyway?”

“Definitely more than one,” Aether said after a pause, before offering her the flashlight. She took it as he crouched down to pry the cellar door open. “You’ve done this before, right? Anything I need to know beforehand?” she asked, idly fiddling with the flashlight.

“Yeah, we all have. Just don’t panic and you should be fine,” he adjusted his grip on the door handle, giving it another long tug, “Oh, and they might be extra cranky. Just a heads up.”

“...why?” Water asked, looking up from her hands.

Somehow, even with the mask, Aether managed to look sheepish. “It’s kind of been a while since they’ve been fed. We've been busy."

“How long is ‘a while’?” she asked, reaching down for her bag. Just as she picked it up, the door finally gave in and opened a crack, releasing a puff of dust into the air.

“Oh, uh, not long. Not too long. Two or three months..." he said, scratching the back of his neck.

"How are they even still alive?" she asked, squinting down at him.

"Like I said, they came back wrong," Aether said, opening the cellar fully and letting the door collapse to the ground. She crouched down across from him to get a look inside.

“Doesn't keeping them in this thing just make them angrier?” she asked.

“Trust me, the basement is the safest place for them” he said. Water looked up, expecting some further elaboration. When there was none, she moved on.

“What happens after they’re fed?” she asked.

“They get a little nicer. Alpha thinks they’re adorable,” he said, “Any more questions before you head in?” She simply shook her head, standing once more to climb down another set of stairs. “Good luck!” Aether said, shutting the door behind her once she was inside, “Hope to see you soon.”

The steady beam from her hand was the room's only light source. A blessing in disguise, if the stench was any indication of how the room looked. But a little modern convenience would have been nice, Water thought. All this devotion to aesthetics in the church was bound to give them all eye strain. She did her best to scan the room, flashlight darting across the walls.

"Still no handrails?" she said out loud, hoping for Aether to hear her complaint through the door. A moment passed with no response, and she simply started down the stairs, shaking her head. The steps creaked under her weight, announcing her presence to all in the room. Down below, claws began scraping against the stone floor as the cats crowded around the bottom step, eagerly anticipating their meal.

"Calm down!" Water said, tucking the flashlight under her arm to free both hands. She paused just before setting the bag down on the next step, "...I'm talking to cats." The heavy thud as the bag hit the wood seemed to set them off further, one of them climbing up the stairs with surprisingly heavy steps. With the flashlight tucked away, Water could only see its blank white eyes, which seemed to shimmer in the dark.

"Don't be greedy," Water said before she could catch herself, "Wait your turn." She rolled her eyes, pulling out its meal--a whole chicken, neck snapped, feathers still intact. She placed it down in front of her, before reaching for her flashlight again. Now that the bag was propped up and open, she could maybe get a proper headcount done to decide how many chickens she'd need to feed the rest of them. She tilted the flashlight up, catching a brief glimpse of the cat nearest to her just as its jaws spread. And promptly dropped it when she caught sight of it.

It was huge, nearly half her size. Its face was deformed, with no nose or ears to speak of. In their place were gaping holes, torn open in its flesh. Patches of fur and skin were missing from its front paws, revealing still bleeding tissue and stark white bone. Its jaw spread nearly a foot wide when open, revealing several sets of needlelike teeth, lining down its throat and esophagus. The cat didn't tear at its meal, instead swallowing it whole as its teeth ground it down, the sound of it making Water sick to her stomach. It sauntered back down the steps as it finished its meal, dragging behind it a set of spines protruding from its back.

Perhaps thankfully, the flashlight had cracked and broken as it tumbled to the floor and down the steps, plunging her into darkness. The mewls and growls of the other cats, still starving, prevented her from finding much comfort in this fact. Her heart pounded in her chest as she reached into her bag for another bird. Her eyes were almost used used to the dark by now, yet she found herself struggling. Her fingers brushed against the beak of one, and she gripped it haphazardly by its head. Without thinking, she tossed it into the gathering mass, instantly regretting it as one of the cats let out a pained cry. Her stomach plunged, realizing she had struck one of them. A set of eyes, glowing a dull blue, appeared across its sides, revealing it’s arched back and bared fangs as it hissed up at her.

"Sorry, sorry!!" she hollered. She tossed another chicken, gentler this time, in the direction of the screech. The snapping and grinding sounds returned, this time accompanied by yelps and howls as the creatures fought amongst themselves. With a whimper, Water forced herself to step down closer to the bottom of the stairs. She dragged the bag behind her, stopping just short of the basement floor. With a grunt, she lifted the bag off the stairs and down onto the bottom step in front of her. Her palms were cold and damp with sweat as she opened the bag again. As she did so, she caught movement out of the corner of her eye. One of the cats had grown impatient, leaping up at her with a sickening shriek. Water yelped, tumbling backwards onto the steps. The creature’s eyes lit up on its sides as it pounced on the sack, before tipping backwards and slipping off onto the floor. It lifted its front paws and examined the bag’s contents. It dipped its head inside, slipping in its front paws one at a time. By the time it crawled inside, the other cats had crowded around the bag, pawing at the rough canvas and crying out in hunger.

It was around this point that Water’s brain just gave up.

She stood, sticking out one leg and gingerly tipping the bag over with a short kick. She flinched as the bag spilled over, the cat nested inside letting out an indignant shriek. It landed hard on its back, twisting and clawing at the air until it was back on its feet again. As it steadied itself, it shot her a look best described with the phrase “I know where you sleep.”

“Don’t give me that!” Water said, “You were the one who--” She was cut off by another screech, as the cat’s spines suddenly shot up from its back, at the ready.

She scrambled up the stairs just as the cats collectively went after their meals, tearing open the bag and setting upon it. Once the sound of grinding bones began to fill the air again, Water quickened her pace, not daring to look back. Her fists were against the cellar door before she even reached the top steps, pounding hard enough to bruise her knuckles (which she would later claim to have gotten during a fistfight with Ted Nugent and be completely convinced that people believed her).

"You know you can open this door from the inside, ri--" Aether cut himself off as he just barely avoided a bruised eye socket from Water's fist as he finally opened the door. Without another word, Water heaved herself out into the basement again, crawling out and nearly collapsing. “You’re back!” Aether said, bending over her. She didn’t reply, only managing a wheeze as she picked herself up off the ground. “How’d it go?” he asked, turning his head back to look in the cellar.

Water didn’t look up, but the faint growls and screeches gave her an idea of what he saw. “Yeesh. Look at the feathers fly," he said, in the same tone as someone reacting to their alarm clock going off early. He crouched to close the door before speaking to her again, “You did great! Earth started crying when we sent him down there.”

Water stood up straight on shaky legs, dusting off a few stray feathers from her jacket, “Th-that wasn’t too bad,” she said, “Compared to the reverse-exorcism, that was pretty simple.”

“Maybe. No one’s ever died from the reverse-exorcism though,” Aether said.

Water’s face fell, “You mean people have died down there?” she asked.

“I mean, I assume? We never actually saw them come out,” he paused, brows lowered in thought. After a moment, he spoke again, “Let's get to bed. The Clergy definitely won't want us wandering around after lights out."

Incidentally, Water would look back on this moment and wonder whether venturing back into the cellar and staying there would have been a better way to end her night.

* * *

 

Lying in bed and staring at the ceiling is very rarely considered productive. Air had told Water as much, while gesticulating wildly in the direction of the quickly spreading flames generated by an unattended incense stick. Still, Water wouldn't have to be up for another twelve hours or so, and after that night's trial, she could use some time to herself.

Plus, the memory of that thing's mouth would definitely give her weird nightmares.

In fact, it was entirely possible that the image of that cavern of teeth and misery was what was actually keeping her up.

But she was putting the extra time to good use, distracting herself with all of life's most difficult quandaries. Like what might have driven Pope Francis to align himself with that most vile of organizations. Or what Papa must have gone through to rise to his current rank. Or how anyone was supposed to find a comfortable sleeping position while keeping the Ghoul mask on (Water had asked about that last one at their most recent meeting, actually; she vaguely remembered some sort of advice about closing her eyes and thinking of their happiest memories, but something told her that lying back and conjuring up images of Peter Steele's Playgirl photoshoot would just about keep her up all night).

Just as she had started pondering whether Vatican City would ever send in an act to perform at Eurovision, there was a knock at her door. More specifically, there was the sound of a bottle of vodka banging against the wood. Which, at the very least, confirmed who it was, saving her the trouble of having to get properly dressed before answering.

"Hey Alpha," she said as she opened the door, "Can't sleep?"

"Don't sleep," he said, "Not until dawn anyway."

"Oh. Well what is it then?" she asked, smiling to herself as she added, “Do you need a cuddle?”

"Yeah, right after I head over to Papa's bedroom for one of my bad 3 a.m. decisions," he said with a snicker, "Seriously though, you want to be cool and help me with something?"

"Maybe? What sort of something?" she asked. “I just got this idea for our next music video, and I realized I’m gonna need another set of hands to do this. And since Aether mentioned how brave you were during today’s trial, I figured I’d ask you,” he said, before holding up a colorful bag in his other hand.

She glanced down at the bag and felt her smile fade, "...are those cat treats?"

* * *

 

"Are we even allowed to be going down there when we're not feeding them?" Water asked, dragging herself down the hallway towards the basement again.

"Not exactly. But Imperator's out of town this weekend, remember? So now's the perfect time to get this done," Alpha said as they approached the basement entrance, "I figure she'll be so impressed by these cats once she sees them perform, she'll forget to punish us."

"Well, what if if the cats kill us? Or if we get trapped down there?” she said.

"It's not like I'm making you feed them again! You just have to hold the lantern," Alpha said.

"I wouldn’t even need to be here if we got some proper lights in this place,” she said, opening the basement door, “Why can't we just get electricity? I'm going to freeze my tits off this winter."

"Same reason we wear all black everything under the stage lights--it's not Satanic unless we're suffering a little,” he said. Water didn’t respond, staring down at her hand as it gripped the door handle. Alpha turned to her, genuine concern in his eyes, “Joking! That was a joke.”

“I know,” she said weakly, opening the door fully and starting down the stairs.

Alpha shut the door behind them, “Look, things may seem scary now, but just think--you’ll get to say you helped when these kitties show their stuff.”

“What if these things don’t train well? It’s hard enough to train normal cats,” Water said.

“If you really didn’t think I could do it, you wouldn’t be helping me,” he pointed out.

“I just didn’t want you trying to do this by yourself,” she said, glancing down through the darkness where the floor would be, "Those things were terrifying."

He snorted, "Naw, they were just hungry. Once they're taken care of, they're the cutest little bastards."

"If you like them so much, why hadn't you fed them in so long?" she said, a hint of annoyance in her tone.

"I forget things sometimes!" he huffed, "I'm only human. At least I didn't try and starve them on purpose. Or worse."

Water turned and looked up at him, dread in her eyes, "Worse?"

"Earth said we should just let them eat each other down there. That, or start up a kitty death match that we could sell tickets to." As they approached their destination, he offered her the lamp. After she took it, he crouched, getting a firm grip on the cellar door handle before continuing. "And I had just said I was almost done naming them when he brought those ideas up, too!"

"You named them?" Water asked, incredulous. He nodded, just as the door gave way. Alpha held it open for her, prompting her to lurch a step back, "Uh, why don't you go in front? They probably like you more."

He shrugged, "Whatever you say, sis." He jumped down, sticking a shaky landing on the third or fourth step. Water caught the door before it slammed down, slipping in and closing it behind her.

With the brighter light of the lantern, the room did seem a tad less foreboding, she thought. Or maybe it was Alpha's humming, now breaking out into whispered lyrics.

"--love me for the money. Come on, come on, listen to the moneytalk--" he jumped down, skipping the last two steps, and waited for her at the bottom. She took her time getting there, eyes scanning every inch of the room. The cats, already gathering, seemed to sense her tension, staying just barely out of the light with their teeth bared.

Alpha pointed at each of them one by one, "The black one’s Jael. The cream colored one's Rachel, and that white one is Leah. The stripey ones are Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, and the yellow one's called Deborah," he stepped down onto the floor, looking left and right.

She rolled her eyes as she reached the bottom, "Seriously?"

"Well I thought it was funny,” he said, turning away from her to search the room, "Mary should be around here somewhere..." He put on a high pitched voice, shaking the treat bag, “I have something for youuu!” He ventured out into the darkness, the creatures trailing behind him at the promise of food. Water crept away from the staircase, holding the lantern aloft. She kept her distance from the herd, trying and failing to concentrate on anything but the faint stench of blood in the air. "There you are!" Alpha exclaimed, approaching a corner of the room.

Tucked away there, curled up into a little ball, was Mary. From the positively murderous look in the cat's eyes, she wasn't in any mood to be bothered. Still, Water stepped a bit closer, lifting the lantern to get a better look at her. The cat shied away from the light, letting out a low pitched growl and burying its face in its paws, but from a brief glance, Water noticed her bloodied mouth.

"That's from dinner, right?" she asked, trying to ease her own fears, "These things aren't actually eating each other?"

"Earth was just being a jerk when he said that," Alpha said, crouching down and placing the bag in front of him, "These guys are harmless."

"Are you sure?" Water said, voice trembling, "Why does this one look ready to murder us then?"

Alpha ignored her, leaning in closer to the cat. "Mary..." he chided, "What are you being so grumpy for?" After a moment, he looked back to her. "She's kind of always been like this, to be honest. I think maybe she's got fleas putting her in a bad mood."

"Ew!" she said, "These things just keep getting worse."

He clicked his tongue in disgust, "If you guys just spent some time with them, you'd know they're really not that bad."

"I'm not spending time with these things! Have you seen their mouths?" Water said, gesturing in their direction.

"C'mooon, that's not their fault!" Alpha said. He reached out and scooped Mary up in his arms, despite her piercing shriek in protest. She kicked her paws in their air, struggling to escape him. With a grunt, Alpha rose to his feet, half carrying, half dragging Mary with him towards Water.

"That thing's the size of a horse!" Water said, jumping back nearly a foot.

"Only, like, a small one," Alpha said, voice strained. He struggled to hold the cat towards her, "Go on, pet her. It'll make her love you." In response, the cat swiped at the air, letting out an alarming clicking sound, "See? She's purring."

"I don't think that's--" Water began, just as Mary twisted her head to an unnatural looking angle. Before Water could say anything, Mary had already spread her jaws wide. They snapped shut around Alpha's forearm, filling the air with a sickening crunching sound. "Fuck!" he shouted, just as Mary slipped from his arms and onto the floor. She refused to let go, sinking her teeth further into his flesh.

It was around this point that, for a brief few, horrible seconds, Water considered cutting her losses and letting Alpha fend for himself while she bolted upstairs and grabbed the nearest steak knife.

"Shit! She's digesting my arm!" Alpha screamed, tugging to free himself. The cat stood her ground, and the grinding sound began emerging from her throat.

Without pausing to think, Water lifted her arm, letting the lantern swing back as the other cats ducked away. Alpha raised his other arm defensively. "Water, wait, don't hurt her--!" he was cut off as Water brought her arms down, chucking the lantern towards them. It struck the creature squarely on the side of its head, causing her to hiss as she was sent reeling. It looked up at her with furious eyes, finally lurching away as Water rushed to Alpha's side.

"Brother, are you alright?" she said, barely getting the words out between panicked breaths.

"Fuck. Shit. Goddammit. I think--" he stumbled as he stood up straight, "Just gotta...get some antiseptic...maybe a bandaid..."

"Let's take a look at it, first. Are you bleeding?" Water said, picking up the badly cracked, but still functioning lantern. Alpha held his arm out, waiting for her to examine it. Water bent over a bit, bringing the light closer, before promptly dropping it again once she caught sight of his hand. Alpha screamed, clutching at what was left of his forearm. His skin was covered in dozens of deep wounds, all set in neat rows. The skin around them seemed close to sloughing off, the edges blackened and smoking. His fingers bore the worst of it, their flesh torn away enough to reveal the bone.

"What the _fuck_?" Water screeched, "What's with these things?"

Alpha clutched his head with his other hand, stumbling as he started towards the stairs, "I-it's just some acid burns. They secrete...that sometimes...when they're threatened--" He fell to his knees, letting out a low hiss in pain. Water hurried next to him, slipping an arm around his waist.

"C'mon, I'll get you upstairs. We'll call an ambulance, everything is going to be alright," her words spilled out rapidly, barely coherent, "We just have to make sure we don't panic--"

"I-its really no big deal!" he said, his legs shaking as he stood again, "It was my fault anyway." He leaned against her for support, cursing under his breath as they reached the stairs again.

"I'll carry you upstairs myself if I have to," Water said, pulling his arm around her neck. She hoisted him upwards, starting him up a step. His knee buckled under him as he stopped suddenly.

"Water, hold on!" he cried out.

She froze, "What is it?"

"I forgot the cat treats!" he said, voice cracking, "We have to go grab them!"

Water sighed, looked up at the long set of stairs ahead of them, and silently reminded herself why she had taken her vows. Whatever those had been.

* * *

 

When she really thought about it, Water had never seen Air express much emotion, let alone anything resembling shock. Still, if there was anything that could cause him to raise an eyebrow, she would think it would be waking up to the sight of two Ghouls hunched over a table, one of whom wearing a "Who Needs Tits?" t shirt (with a tasteful, "With an ass like this?" On the back) instead of the required uniform, the other struggling to bandage his hand, and both seemingly convinced that the Dark Lord himself would enter the room at any minute and damn them both to an eternity of suffering and just-above-comfortably-warm room temperatures.

Air's eyes scanned the scene once, twice, before he strode into the room, nodding at both of them, "Good morning Brother Alpha. Sister Water."

"Thank Lucifer you're here!" she said, jumping from her seat to grab his wrist, "I need you to call an ambulance! Where's the phone?"

Air patted her hand comfortingly before removing it, "I can see that. Unfortunately, the nearest phone is about a thirty minute drive away."

"Oh. Right," Water said, turning briefly back to Alpha. The two exchanged glances before she continued, "Papa has a phone, doesn't he? Why don't we ask him--"

Air's hand clamped down on her shoulder. "That is for his use and his use only. For communication between him and the Clergy."

"B-but this is an emergency. Alpha could lose his hand!" Water said. Air removed his grip from her shoulder, stepping towards him to examine his injury.

"You didn't stick it in the meat grinder on a dare again, did you?" Air asked, taking a seat across from him.

"No!" Alpha said, crossing his arms. He yelped in pain when he tried to tuck his left hand away, sucking in a breath through his teeth. Air gestured at the table, and Alpha laid his hand out in front of him, palm up. The blood had begun drying a bit, staining the bandages a dull burgundy. With steady hands, Air reached out and tugged at the haphazard knot, undoing it to reveal a small portion of his injury.

"Looks serious," Air said, rewrapping it after a second-long look, "What is this injury?"

"It's a bite. You remember that failed Church Grim thing from a while back?" Alpha began, "Well--" He stopped when Air rose to his feet. "Get in the car. And bring change," he said, already on his way out of the room.

"We're driving him there then? Won't that take longer?" Water asked, rushing after him.

"The hospital will offer little help in a situation like this," Air said, "Sister Imperator is away, but we can phone her. We need to."

"What do you mean a situation like this?" she said, "it's an animal bite! A bite from a cat the size of a wolf, true, but still."

"These aren't normal cats."

"That's an understatement."

"They were meant as offerings to Satan. As the ceremony did not go as planned, we have denied him their souls. His wrath is the reason they emerged as they are now."

Water paused for a moment, nervously chewing on her lip, "And what does that mean?"

"It means the injuries they cause will not heal, not on their own or with any sort of treatment," he said, "If left unchecked, the wounds will become infected."

Water's eyes went wide, "How bad will it be?"

"He will be dead within hours." Water went silent, her heart pounding in her chest. She could have talked him out of going down there. Could have refused to help him and convinced him to give up on the idea. She felt panicked tears stinging at the back of her eyes as she forced her next words out, "What do we have to do to save him?"

"If there is a way, Sister Imperator will know it," he said, "If there isn't, the consequences will be dire. There's no telling how the Clergy will react to losing yet another contributor to the Ghost project."

"Just how dire will these consequences be?" she asked, panic growing in her voice.

"Whoever is responsible for Alpha's injury will find death preferable to their fate," he said, keeping his gaze straight ahead, "That is all I can say with any confidence."

Water bit back a nervous whimper, her mind running through every possible way she could have prevented Alpha from entering that basement. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of approaching footsteps from behind.

"Could you guys not talk about me like I'm not in the room?" Alpha asked, "That'd be great."

* * *

 

There were likely more hellish places to be than outside a dimly lit convenience store, gathered around the barely functional payphone, making a desperate call to someone they dreaded talking to as one of them was dying slowly. However, those places tended to involve recreational impalement. Air dialed in the number, motioning for them to lean in closer as the ringing tone began.

"What if she doesn't pick up?" Water said, wringing her hands, "Should we ask to use the employee's phone?"

"That would mean she didn't consider the call worth her time. That is when we may risk disturbing Papa," Air said, "She would never turn down a call from him."

"Kiss ass," Alpha grumbled, before adding, "If she doesn't answer, can I at least pick up some chips or something while we're here?"

"Alpha, your life is in danger!" Water said.

"I know that! You want me to die hungry?" he replied.

Air hushed them both, "She's picking up."

Though muffled, her distinct voice rang clear from the speaker, "--what could they possibly want?" Then, louder, "Hello? Who is this?"

"Good morning Sister Imperator. This is Brother Air. I'm afraid Brother Alpha has become injured--"

"What happened this time?" Sister Imperator asked.

"He had an encounter with one of the products of our failed attempt at resurrection," Air said.

"Of course he did," Sister muttered, "I swear to Lucifer, I can't leave you Ghouls alone for more than five minutes."

"That may very well be true, Sister," Air said.

"Do you have to look at me when you say that?" Alpha said, eyes narrowed.

"What happened, exactly? And don't waste my time with useless details," Sister said. Air handed the phone to Alpha, motioning for him to speak.

"Well," he said, "I went down to the cellar and Mary Magdalene--she's the one with that little scar on her eyebrow--she was missing from the rest of the group. And she was all by herself in the corner, curled up into a pillow. Looked about ready to claw my eyes out."

"Brother, she _just_ said--" Air began.

"And I didn't think much of it, you know. She was already fed, so I figured she wouldn’t be in a bad mood or anything. But then when I picked her up so Water could pet her, since she was saying how much she doesn't like the cats, and I wanted to prove my point--Water was saying that, not Mary, obviously--she, Mary, got really aggressive--"

"That thing almost bit Alpha's hand off!" Water hollered.

"But it wasn't her fault! She's never done that before," Alpha said.

"And just what in the name of Astaroth were you doing down there if the cats were already fed?" Sister asked.

"I had this idea for our next music video..."

"Actually, never mind," she said flatly, "You'll need to take drastic measures to fix this. Can you make contact with our mole within the Vatican?"

There was a pause before Alpha spoke again, "He's still not talking to us after Papa slept with his mom...”

There was a huff at the other end. "I suppose the ritual will still work with more local sources," Sister said, "First, you'll need something stolen from the nearest place of worship. I’d suggest a vial of holy water.”

He paused again. "Does it _have_ to be the nearest place of worship?" Alpha said.

“You have little time, Alpha,” she said, as if she was talking to a child, "The second nearest church will take hours to get to."

“Okay, is there any other way to do this?” he asked.

“You could sacrifice the cat that injured you and sprinkle her blood on church steps? Two birds, one stone,” she said.

“Uh, anything else?” Alpha stuttered.

“Are you going to make me do this all day?” she snapped.

“I don’t think we brought enough change for that,” Water said, looking down into her bag.

“I’m asking you to steal from a church, not burn it to the ground! You’ve accomplished more difficult tasks,” Sister said.

“I know. I just... Alpha said, "I hate that place..." Air slipped the phone from his hand.

“It will be done, Sister Imperator,” he said, “I believe we have taken up enough of your time. We will complete this task and report back to you.”

“Very good, Brother Air. Your dedication will be rewarded in due time,” Sister said, just before a faint voice in the background cut her off.

“Auntie, could you maybe take this call outside? You’re ruining Easter,” it said.

“Easter?” Alpha said, “That’s why you’re away?”

“That’s really none of your business. I'll notify a fellow Clergy member to conduct your healing ceremony. Don't make me regret that decision.” Sister said. Her voice became muffled as she continued, presumably with the receiver covered, “Do stop complaining. Easter was ruined for everyone else the minute Christians got to it.”

There was a click just before the dial tone returned, ending the conversation. Air hung up the phone and was already on his way back to the car by the time Water scurried out to catch up to him. “So that’s it, right? Off to the nearest church?” she said as they entered the parking lot.

He held up one hand, “We must be pragmatic about this. Storming in through the front doors in front of an entire congregation has rarely ended well for us as a church."

Alpha slipped in between them, “You know, I don’t _really_ need to get this hand fixed. I’m right handed anyway!”

“Have you forgotten that this could kill you, Brother?” Air asked in a tired voice.

“Well. Um. Maybe it won’t,” he said, “And I could do other things besides guitar. That’s not the only thing I’m good at!”

“I’m sure,” Air said, shaking his head. He held the door open for them as they returned to the car.

“Where to next, then?” Water asked, taking her seat in the back as Alpha crawled in next to her.

“I-I can do other things, really!” Alpha said, “Like. Um.”

“Back home to ask the Sisters of Sin for a favor. I have a plan,” Air said as he shut the door.

“Maybe,” Alpha said, “I could get a hook hand. But instead of a hook, it’s a maraca. Or like a cowbell. We need one of those, right?”

Air pointedly didn’t answer as he got into the driver’s seat.

* * *

 

Water leaned forward in her chair, trying to get a better look at the building just outside her window. It came into view as they pulled up next to it, a crumbling edifice whose bright white color had faded long ago. It’s gray tone and dome ceiling made it resemble a gravestone more than any church she’d ever seen, right down to the illegible lettering across its front.

“You’re sure this is the place?” she asked Air. He nodded, pulling into the nearly deserted parking lot. Air nodded.

“This is one of the most poorly maintained churches in the country. Their possessions aren't likely to be well guarded,” he said, “It will just be a matter of entering and leaving undetected.”

Water turned to look at him, “That’s the plan?”

“Yes. Is there a problem?” he asked.

“No, it’s just--not what I was expecting?” she said, “I thought we’d be sitting in on the Mass and slipping out with the donation basket or something.”

“No time. I was informed the services here can last for hours. And frankly, I’m not convinced Alpha would be capable of sitting still for that long, anyway,” Air said.

“Again with the talking about me like I can’t hear you,” Alpha said from the back seat.

“Finish getting dressed, brother. We need to get in and out of there quickly,” Air said, parking the car.

“What do we need disguises for if we’re not supposed to let anyone see us?” Water asked.

“There’s still the chance of detection if there's anyone in that building. We need to look like we have a reason to be there," Air said. Water nodded, unbuckling her seatbelt and stepping out of the car. Immediately, the wind whipped her skirt around her ankles, opening up her cloak and causing it to trail behind her as she walked to the other side. She adjusted her wimple to rest a bit closer around her face before speaking.

“I forgot how warm these nun outfits are,” she said, “We should ask the Sisters if they’ll let us keep them for winter.” Air said nothing as he stepped out, his own borrowed habit barely reaching his mid-calf. Water was going to ask why they couldn’t have picked out something that actually fit him just before a thought struck her, “Wait, the masks!” Water said, turning to face Air fully, “You think it’s safe to just leave them in the car, or should we take them with us?”

“Best to keep them on,” Air said, starting towards the church.

“But we’re supposed to be in disguise. Wouldn’t we be more convincing without them?" she called out after him. He turned to face her briefly, eyes stern.

"Not an option,” he said. She was silenced immediately, a second passing before Air continued on his way.

Water stood in place, head hanging, “Trying to steal from a church. Undetected. While wearing demon masks,” she faced Alpha, shoulders slumped, “It was nice knowing you, Brother.” He didn’t respond, staring down at the ground with wide eyes. “...too far?” she asked.

He looked up, blinking, “What?”

She looked up at him, concern flashing in her eyes, “Oh, I see. Realization is hitting you?” She patted his shoulder, "Look, we _will_ get through this. You’re not dead yet!” Her attempt at a pep talk didn’t seem to help much, as evidenced by his unenthusiastic thumbs up in response.

“Yeah, I know…” he grumbled, “I just fucking hate this place." That was as much as she could get out of him during the entire walk to the church entrance.

Water slipped her hand around Alpha’s, urging him forward, “C’mon. Like Imperator said, we haven’t got much time.”

“Let’s get this over with,” he said with a sigh. "Why do you hate this place so much anyway? It's just a church," she asked as they began walking again.

"You'll see when we get there. The whole place looks and smells like a morgue," he said, shuddering. They spotted Air from a distance, maintaining his upright posture even as he hopped the fence and began searching for a rear entrance. They caught up with him just as he swung the back door open, motioning for them to enter first.

“You were able to pick the lock?” Water asked.

“There wasn’t one. Or a doorknob, for that matter,” he said. Water ducked under his arm and into the back room, Alpha trailing close behind her.

"Scratch that, Water. This place looks like a fixed up bingo hall," Alpha said as he entered, "Betcha that's what it used to be."

"Louder, please. Just so everyone can know we're sneaking in," Air hissed.

"What?" Alpha asked, blinking in confusion.

Air pinched the bridge of his (mask's) nose, "Please try and keep quiet."

"Oh. Gotcha," he said, lowering his voice to a loud whisper.

“If this place doesn’t even have a proper door, are you sure it’s still running?” she said.

“Our source clearly stated that there is to be a mass today,” Air said. He stepped into the room, surveying his new surroundings. Water's eyes scanned the barren walls, adorned with nothing but a few scraps of peeling wallpaper and some wire. The carpet, if it had ever been there, had been ripped out long ago, exposing a discolored concrete floor. There was no furniture to speak of, with only slightly less faded areas on the walls to indicate that it had ever been there.

"I hope I don't sound picky, but do you think it’ll still count as an offense to the opposition to steal something from this place?” she asked, "It already looks like it's been ransacked."

"It's not quite the Sistine Chapel, I'll admit," Air said, one foot already out the door into the hall, "But doesn't it warm your heart to see a Christian place of worship in ruins?"

"I guess," Water sighed.

"Hey, it's my funeral, right?" Alpha said, playfully elbowing her in the ribs. Shockingly, Water found it hard to laugh at the fact that she could be arranging his funeral (and her own, shortly after) within a week.

The hallway was little better than the backroom. The floor, while not completely bare, was sparsely covered with a patchwork of cracked tiles. To their left was a plain brown picture frame, empty and hanging crooked from one corner.

"You sure it had to be something valuable?" Alpha asked, pointing to the frame, "Maybe we could just give him this." Water looked up at him, unsure if he was joking.

Air shook his head, "Insufficient. He'd take your hand and your arm to go with it." Alpha made a dismissive gesture, but said nothing.

Little changed as they continued down through the building. The entire building seemed long abandoned, without even a functioning light or intact window to speak of. Every room was much the same, covered in a layer of grime and dust that seemed to have settled years ago. Water swore she could detect the slightest tension growing Air’s shoulders as they progressed and continued to find nothing of value. If the thought of coming back empty-handed made Alpha at all nervous, he was doing a good job of burying it under a steady stream of running commentary.

“How many big empty rooms does one group of old ladies need?” he said, ducking his head into a door that barely clung to its hinges.

Air winced as his voice echoed slightly, “Remember what I said about keeping quiet?”

“There wasn't anyone around to hear us last time,” Alpha said, standing up straight, “And even if there were, I don’t think they’d care. ‘cause let me tell ya, if you can’t be bothered to so much as provide some reading material in your bathroom, you’ve clearly already given up on life.”

Water shuddered, “I’m going to have a hard time lifting toilet lids after seeing that place.”

“Just what valuables did you think would be in there, Alpha?” Air asked.

Alpha shook his head, ignoring him, “See, this is why I hate this place. Anyone who would operate out of one of these places has no business telling me how to live my life,” he said, “And another thing--” A loud groan ripped through the air, silencing him immediately. Water nearly jumped a foot in the air, steadying herself against the wall. All three of them exchanged glances, searching for the source.

“Just a pipe,” Air whispered after a moment.

“There’s still water running. Someone’s here,” Water said, straining to keep her voice from shaking.

“Huh. Maybe your source doesn’t completely suck,” Alpha said, forgetting to lower his voice.

Air shot him a sidelong glance, motioning for him to lower his volume, “There’s still hope that we’ll find something useful here. We’ll keep searching.”

“Do I get any input on this? It’s my hand,” Alpha said.

“Oh, now you’re taking this seriously?” Air said.

“Look, this place is clearly dead, running water or not, and you said yourself that we’re short on time. I say we cut our losses and find a church that doesn’t look like an entire congregation died in it.”

“The second nearest church is hours away, and even if we made it there in time, we’d still need to come up with a new plan to infiltrate it,” Air said.

“New plan? What’s wrong with the one you already came up with?” he said.

“Not all churches have nuns, Alpha” Air said, as if it was obvious, “We might as well be walking in dressed as Digambara monks.”

“...what?” Alpha asked.

“No surprise there,” Air mumbled before continuing, “As your brother in arms, I feel the need to stop you from making harmful decisions.”

“Well, fat load of help you are!” Alpha said, holding up his bandaged hand. Air said nothing, crossing his arms. Alpha looked away, slowly lowering his arm to his side.

“...sorry,” Alpha said.

After a moment’s silence, Water spoke, “Maybe we should head straight to the Sacristy. If a Mass is going on, isn’t anyone who could catch us going to be at the altar?”

“They should be,” Air said. “Might as well. None of these back rooms are going to be any help, from the looks of things,” Alpha said.

“It is a higher risk,” Air said, “If we were to be caught…”

“That’s what the disguises are for, yeah?” Alpha said.

“We won’t need to be there long. It’ll probably be easy to find something worth offering back there,” Water added.

“Two against one!” Alpha said, raising his injured hand, “Plus my vote counts double. ‘Cause, y’know. I’m dying.”

“I understand that,” Air said flatly, “If we’re doing this, we’re doing it right. Think you can keep quiet?”

“Definitely,” he said, before drawing his thumb and pointer finger across his mask in a zipping motion.

“I didn’t mean you can’t say any--” Air said, “Actually, nevermind. Keep it that way until we get back to the car.” With that, he started down the hall, turning a corner towards the center of the building.

The Sacristy was easy enough to find, tucked away in its traditional location behind the altar. Its door was ajar, offering them a brief glimpse into the room as they approached. The carpeting seems relatively intact, at least, Water thought. As Air crept through the door, letting out a just barely audible sigh of relief when its hinges didn’t creak, he waved them in, leaving the door open behind them. The room was as poorly lit as the others, though not quite as empty. A folding table, missing a leg, was propped up against the exit, surrounded by a set of chairs. Along the wall were several rows of boxes, labelled in black ink by a shaky hand. Several of them appeared to be leaking a thick brown fluid, too thick for the carpet to absorb. Alpha walked ahead of them both, crouching to examine them more closely. He looked back after a moment, pointing to the duct tape sealing the lids shut.

"I didn't think to bring anything to cut with," Water whispered, shaking her head.

Air shrugged apologetically. Alpha nodded, hesitating for a moment, before shifting to slip both hands under the box's base. He then lifted the box above his head, tucking his chin downward.

Air was next to him in an instant, swatting at his shoulder, "No, no. You are not going to try using your horns for that again." Alpha visibly deflated, setting the box back down. Water spotted something out of the corner of her eye, her head snapping up to get a better look.

"What is it?" Air asked. Water didn't respond, separating from the group and heading towards the other side of the room. As she approached the entrance to another hallway, she slid close to the wall, keeping low. With a deep breath, she turned and peered around the corner, nearly jumping back a foot afterward. She bit back a yelp as she hurried back to the others, eyes wide.

"There's a light on down the hall!" she said as she returned.

"We can only hope someone just left a light on," Air said under his breath, "We'll have to check--Alpha, get back here!" Alpha had already taken off down the hallway, hem lifted above his knees to help him run. Air swept past her, grabbing him by the back of his habit and jerking him back. Alpha slipped and fell back against Air's chest.

"As I was saying," Air continued, pushing Alpha back up and dusting him off, “We’ll have to check. Quietly.” He stepped past Alpha without another word, Water scurrying to catch up to him.

As they reached the door, Air turned and stared sternly at them both, daring either of them to speak. Water shrunk back, pressing herself flat against the wall. The door was open a crack, revealing a sliver of warm orange light. It was a flickering, unsteady light, clearly not from a manufactured source. Water slowed to a stop just short of the door, not daring to step closer. She touched Air's shoulder, shaking her head when he turned to her. It was likely to be a candle or an oil lamp, she thought. Nothing anyone would leave unattended. Someone would definitely be in there. Air seemed to agree, nodding once towards the path out of the room. He turned back towards Alpha to let him know they were leaving.

Just in time to see him push the door open.

The door swung open and hit the wall, announcing their presence to the room. Which, to their dismay, was not empty. A bigger cause for concern, however, was the wild boar carcass hanging from the roof. It's throat had been torn open, leaving a gaping, still dripping wound. The blood slid down its corpse and onto the small group of worshipers below, staining their slate gray cloaks. At the sound of the door opening, each of them craned their necks to search for the source of the disturbance, their hands still folded in prayer. No one spoke. Their hoods shrouded their faces, yet it was clear they weren't welcoming towards their visitors. Alpha took one look inside before gingerly shutting the door.

He turned to leave, shaking his head and gesturing back at the room with one hand, just before the door was slammed open behind him. Alpha barely had time to let out a surprised yelp as he was grabbed from behind by a pair of rough hands, gripping him by his shoulders. Before the others could react, he was engulfed by the hooded crowd, mask pried off and thrown to the wall with a loud crack. Before the mask even fell to the ground, Air had launched himself at the group, prying their arms away as they tried to force Alpha to the ground. Air barely managed to extend his hand out towards him before he was shoved back, hard enough to throw him across the room. Water cried out as one of the hooded figures was upon him, pinning him to the ground with inhuman strength. They looked up at the sound and spotted her, jabbing a finger in her direction and cursing at her in some ancient language. Another two seemed to obey, sprinting towards her with animalistic speed.

She screeched as she was grabbed by her waist and lifted off the ground, hoisted up like she weighed nothing. Water pounded and clawed at the figure's arms, vision growing blurry in a fit of panic. Even in her current state, she noticed the glint of metal in one of their hands. A string of curses spilled from her mouth as a large hand placed itself on the back of her head, preparing to pull her mask off. She jerked her head away, summoning all her strength to draw her arm back and bring it down, heel first, in their direction. To her surprise, their grip around her weakened, the hand on her mask slipping away. Water slipped and fell to the ground, looking up just in time for one of her attackers to stumble back, their hands flying to their face. She whimpered as she realized what the glinting object had been. Jammed in their eye, now dripping a glossy black fluid, was a knife, elaborately carved from pearl and porcelain. Her other assailant backed away from her, hands shaking in midair. Without thinking, she rushed past them, scrambling towards her brothers. She looked back and forth between them, stopping short as Air flung a hooded figure off of him. The figure fell back and hit the wall hard, crumpling and falling to their knees. Air looked up at Water, urgency flashing in his eyes.

"I'll be fine!" he shouted, "Run!" "But Alpha--!"

"Run!" She grimaced, but nodded, bolting off towards the exit. Just as her hand reached out to wrench the door open, she paused, before rushing back towards her former assailants. The one she'd injured was still reeling in agony, the other was nowhere to be seen. Convenient, she thought, but not exactly comforting. With one hand going to grip their arm for stability, she stood on tiptoe, reaching up towards their face.

"I'm sorry!" she whispered, wrenching the knife from their eye with one long tug. A black liquid seemed to cling to the blade, before sliding off all at once. She blinked in confusion, before shaking her head impatiently. If that really stood out to her as the weirdest part of her day, something was wrong here.

"Water, what the hell are you doing?" Air called out as he rushed past her. He was already out in the hallway before she had a chance to answer. She tucked the knife away into her sash, silently praying that it would stay put as she began to run.

Back towards where Alpha was being held.

Alpha didn't go down easy, she had to give him that. Among the mass of hems, she spotted his hands, raking along the ground to pull himself from their grasp. Sucking in a nervous breath, Water ripped the knife from her sash, lifting it above her head in a shaking hand. She flung herself at one of the figures, swinging the knife hard enough to leave gaping wounds on his back. They let out an annoyed grunt, swatting at her with one hand. Water ducked into the gap between bodies she'd created, reaching her hand out towards Alpha.

"Alpha--" she cried out, just before she was thrown back with one swing of a cloaked arm. Undeterred, she shoved the arm out of the way, crying out for him again,"Alpha! Take my hand!" He reached a shaking hand towards hers, their fingertips barely locking before he began hauling himself away. Kicking away a lingering pair of hands around his ankles, he crawled away on his hands and knees, barely able to escape.

Water tugged at his sleeve, "C'mon, we have to--" Alpha held up a finger, before darting off towards to the side of the room, oblivious to the figures trailing behind him. He scooped up his now slightly dented mask from where it had landed, standing and slipping it on just before his face would have been visible to her. Water wondered why she hadn’t expected that.

No further words needed to be exchanged; the two of them rushed out of the room, the mob of hooded figures following them closely behind. As the two of them passed through the threshold, Alpha slowed again.

“What now?” Water cried out over her shoulder. Alpha closed the door, before running to catch up to her.

“Maybe it’ll slow them down!” he said cheerfully, just as the sound of wood splintering filled the air. Neither of them even bothered looking back.

The approaching mob barely slowed as they spilled into the narrow hallway, filling it like thick smog. As Water and Alpha re-entered the sacristy main room, they caught sight of Air pushing the last of the chairs aside, before reaching for the folding table with both hands. He tossed it away as if it was lighter than paper, not even flinching as it slammed to the ground. Air glanced back at them over his shoulder once as he threw the door open, waiting for them to draw nearer before rushing out into the cold air.

The exit, they learned, opened up into a lot behind the building, a vacant space save for the garbage strewn everywhere. Scattered among the debris were a handful of suspiciously large trash bags, just the right heights to be humans, positioned to look as if they were sitting idly next to any passerby. In the back of her mind, even as she ran, Water couldn't help but think of how perfectly a group of corpses would fit into the church's surroundings.With a new determination, she quickened her pace as they rushed around the corner, into the grass, over the fence, until her heels clicked loudly against the pavement. Her lungs were burning by the time their car was in their sights again. Air surged ahead of them, seemingly snatching his keys out of nowhere. With one graceful movement, he unlocked the car, flung the door open, and locked himself inside, starting up the engine just as the door slammed shut next to him. Water thanked her dark gods when she approached the side to find the doors already open and waiting for them. A feeling which lasted up until Alpha scrambled into the car, shoving her face first into the seat next to him.

"Remind me to make you apologize for that later," Air remarked, turning the key just as Water spotted movement in the rear view mirror. There was a loud slam as the engine burst forth with noise. The approaching mob seemed to throw themselves at their car, clawing desperately at the windows and doors for any opening, any weakness in its structure. Alpha and Water flinched in unison as the sound of nails against metal filled their ears. Air looked up once, an annoyed grunt rising up from the back of his throat, before turning to face them.

"Seems they wish to block our path," he said. Water met his calm gaze with wide, panicked eyes. Outside, the hooded figures seemed to be enveloping the car, filling their view with nothing but black. Water swore she could feel the car tilt to one side as they drew themselves closer around it.

"What are we going to do?" she said, voice a terrified whisper.

"There is no other way," Air said, grip around the steering wheel growing tighter. Water drew her arms around herself, staring down at the floor as her vision blurred with panicked tears. She remained that way for a moment, before lifting her gaze once more. Her eyes shifted back and forth between them as she spoke.

"You guys--I-I know we haven't been serving Him together for long. But I want you both to know I've never felt more accepted than I have with you." Air didn't respond, eyes narrowing, expression unreadable as always. Water felt Alpha's hand on her shoulder, looked back in time to see him nod to her once. She drew in a sharp breath, could barely speak, "Brother--"

She was cut off as the car lurched backwards, slamming into several bodies on its way. Before she could so much as gather her thoughts, the car turned sharply, sending Alpha crashing into her side, just before they were pinned back into their seats. Outside, the figures became a blur as the car picked up speed, sending the few that remained clinging to it tumbling to the ground.

"Air!" Water shouted, struggling to hear herself over the roar of the engine, "Did you just run over like five people?"

"Yes. And I'm about to run over one more," he said, gesturing forward. Through the windshield, they caught a glimpse of the last remaining figure, rushing towards the car with its arms raised, weapon drawn and ready, just as they disappeared under the car. There was a sickening crunch as the car plowed over his body, before the heavy silence settled in once more. Water sat back in her chair, wide eyed, nails digging into her seat. After a long pause, she forced herself to speak.

"Did we just--" she stammered.

"Yes," Air said firmly, turning into the parkway.

Water slumped forward, defeated. Alpha looked to her once, silent for a few minutes, before facing forward again.

"Can I talk now?" he asked.

"No," Air said, eyes fixed on the road.

"Did we remember grab anything from the church before we left?" Alpha said. There was yet another long pause.

"Fuck," Air said, letting his head fall back against the headrest. Water's head lifted at his words, her eyes lighting up with pleasant surprise.

"I remembered!" she piped up, back straightening. She ran her hands along her seat, before bending to check the floor, rising again with a triumphant gleam in her eye. She lifted her arm to show them the knife she'd brandished, still as sharp and clean as if it had just been forged.

"You held onto it? The entire time?" Alpha said, "Goddamn, you're intense."

"I just didn't want the band to have to replace you," she said, laughing weakly. She held the knife out in offering to him, and he took it, beaming.

"Thanks, sis. You're the best," he said, before turning to Air, "Think this will work for the ceremony?"

Air glanced at the knife briefly, catching its glint in the rear view mirror. "It'll do," he finally said, turning his attention back to the road.

* * *

 

The atrium wasn't known for having a welcoming atmosphere. Its stained glass windows towered above all who entered, depicting only the most gruesome of scenes from their holy book. There was no strong light source to speak of, a row of black candles providing the room's only illumination. Even the room's structure seemed built to intimidate, its roof stretching upwards, past where the eye could see it, shrouded in an unnatural blackness. Water had been asked to report to this room exactly once before, to assist in the trial of another initiate who'd been instructed to cut off her own fingers with a dull blade. But they had been ordered to report there, to lay Alpha down on the marble slab in preparation for the ceremony. The sight of her brother, vulnerable upon the cold surface, did little to quell Water's nerves.

"So are we going to like, tie me down and cut my heart out? Like in--" Alpha said, lifting his head to look at the Clergy member.

"I know what you're referencing, and no," she said flatly, not looking up from her work book.

"Darn," he said, laying his head down again.

"This isn't going to hurt him, right?" Water asked, standing across from Sister on the opposite side of the slab.

"We will be doing what is necessary to save his life, Ghoul. It would do you well to remember that," the Sister said, turning to face Air, currently looming behind her, "You may place the offering on the table."

Air nodded, reaching out towards the surface with an outstretched arm and setting the dagger down next to Alpha's injured hand. The Sister balanced the open book on one arm, reading from it in a hushed whisper. Water's Latin wasn't quite good enough to understand much of her speech, but she was able to pick up a single word: "return." As the Sister finished speaking, she closed her book, tucking it under her arm and turning to leave.

"Is...is that it?" Water said, "Are you done?" She looked down at Alpha's hand, examining it for any change. As she turned back to the Sister, she noticed Air bending down to reach for something beneath the table.

"I am," she said, walking quickly towards the exit.

"So my hand's fixed. Sweet! Thanks a lot," Alpha said, sitting up and scooting towards the side of the slab. Air stepped forward, placing a hand on his chest and firmly pushing him back down to his previous position.

"Not quite," the Sister said over her shoulder, before opening up the heavy iron door and disappearing into the hallway. Water waited until the echo of the door slamming faded completely before speaking.

"What did she mean?" Water asked, looking up to face Air, "Isn't the ritual over?"

Air didn't look up as he stood, lifting his hand to reveal a large, freshly sharpened cleaver, its brass handle shining brightly even in the low light. Alpha looked up at Air in confusion, then back to Water, eyes wide with fear.

"No," Air said. With that, he raised his arm above his head, pausing only to take a breath, before bringing the blade down hard against Alpha's left wrist. His hand came off with one clean cut, filling the air with the sound of cracking bone. With an equally efficient movement, Air snatched up Alpha's bandaged hand, seemingly ignoring Alpha's agonized screams as he turned away from the scarlet stained slab and walked across the room. Alpha struggled to stand on his shaking legs, his screams subsiding into pained sobs. Water, too terrified to even speak, rushed to the other side of the table, stopping short as she reached his side, unsure of what to do.

"What the _fuck_ , Air?" Alpha screamed, unable to rip his eyes away from where his hand used to be. Water flinched as she caught sight of what was left of Alpha's wrist, an unnaturally smooth-topped stump left from Air's perfect cut. The blood that had spurt forth had slowed to a steady drip, staining his skin and cuff. Air did not acknowledge Alpha's cries, tossing the severed hand into some unseen pit before making his way back to the center of the room.

"Take him to the infirmary, would you dear Sister?" he asked Water as he walked past them, "They'll know how to stop the bleeding."

"I..." she looked back to Alpha, blinking rapidly, trying to comprehend what had just happened. She looked to Air again and sighed, "Alright."

"But...he cut my hand off..." Alpha whimpered, watching as Air left the room. Water took his hand, looking down once to ensure it was his right one, and led him towards the exit.

* * *

 

Water hesitated in front of Alpha's door, hand frozen in midair.

"Go on," Aether said, balancing the food tray on one arm to pat her shoulder with his free hand, "I'm sure he'll be happy to see us." Water lowered her arm to her side, bowing her head.

"Will he even be hungry after...all that? He didn't come to dinner last night, either," she said.

"All the more reason to bring him something. He can't be skipping meals while he's recovering," he said.

"But he was devastated!" she said, not looking up, "What if the Clergy puts him on janitor duty after this? Or worse?"

"We'll be there for him if that happens," Aether said firmly, "In the meantime, let's not make his healing harder by letting him starve himself." Water's shoulders slumped, but she nodded, raising her hand to tap her nails on the door.

"Alpha?" she called out, "We brought you breakfast." She was met by silence at first, followed by the rustling of fabric as he seemed to be lifting himself off the bed. After a moment, the door swung open, revealing Alpha in nothing but his mask and uniform trousers.

"Sorry for the wait, had to throw some pants on," he said, absolutely delighted, "Thanks alot, guys!" Water and Aether exchanged confused glances.

"You seem...better today," Water said cautiously.

"Yeah! I'm feeling pretty great, actually," he said, looking down at the tray in Aether's hands, "Ooh, burnt toast. They're treating us today!" He nudged the door open wider with his shoulder as he reached for the tray with both hands.

Water and Aether wore matching, wide-eyed expressions as he took the tray, tilting up his mask to take a bite of the toast. "Thanks again!" he said, mouth full.

"What--did--" Water sputtered, looking back and forth between his hand and face.

"Woah, you weren't kidding about feeling better," Aether said.

"Hm?" Alpha said, swallowing, "Oh! That reminds me--sorry I wasn't in the mess hall this morning. I was, ah, choking my pope, if you catch my drift. Celebrating, you know." He took another bite of his toast, "Well, see you guys." He waved at them, before shutting the door, leaving them out in the hallway.

Silence.

"See you at practice," Aether called out.

* * *

 

Sister Imperator, having just returned from her weekend away, called Water and Alpha to her office that afternoon, under the premise of an "emergency meeting." Water silently prayed that that wasn't a euphemism as they lined up in front of her desk, shoulders back and hands folded behind them. Imperator did not stand as they did so, instead sitting rigidly in her chair, outwardly calm, arms crossed. Her eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly as she began speaking.

"I think you know why you’re here,” she said, nodding at Alpha. Neither of them dared to answer that. As subtly as she could, Water looked away, shifting uncomfortably under Imperator’s gaze. Finally, Alpha spoke, tone cautious, yet cloaked in cheerfulness.

“This...is about my hand, I think,” he said, “You wanted to check up on me?”

“Go on,” Sister said, expression unchanged.

“Um…” Alpha began, “I’m not sure if there’s much I can add. I’m doing well. Didn’t sleep too great last night because, ah, you know. But I woke up today and my hand was good as new. Might even be better, actually.” He raised his left hand a bit, “I mean, this one looks like it got a fresh manicure.” He laughed weakly at his attempt at humor. Sister’s lips pulled into a thin smile.

“Of course, of course,” she said, shaking her head, “But what I would really like to discuss with you three are the circumstances that led to your little scrape.”

“Oh! Well--” Alpha said, casting his eyes down, “Um. Me and Water went down into the basement…” Sister motioned for him to continue. “T-to see the cats,” Alpha said.

“Not to feed them,” she said, “Yes, I remember that very clearly. Aether and Water had already been sent downstairs to complete that task earlier. And yet, there you were! Lounging about where you didn’t belong.” Neither of them answered. Under her mask, Water bit down on her lip to distract herself from the cold pit growing in her stomach.

“And I’ll bet you think you’ve suffered enough for it, don’t you?” Sister said, “That nearly losing your hand, your livelihood, your position in our church all at once, was enough atonement for you to be forgiven by our Unholy Lord. Am I correct?”

“I, uh…” Alpha said. Even standing next to him, Water could hear him swallow hard before continuing, “You want me to say no, right?”

Sister shut her eyes, exhaling slowly, before she turned her attention away from him, facing Water, “And you--I bet you think you’re completely innocent in all this. Alpha’s accomplice, doing absolutely nothing to prevent him from injuring himself. You should be on your knees, thanking your dark gods that the healing ritual was a success. His blood would be on your hands otherwise.”

Water looked down, unable to meet her eyes. She nodded, hand folding nervously in front of her.

“The two of you will be facing the consequences for your actions, I’ll be sure of that,” Sister said, “I’ll be announcing your punishments shortly. Don’t expect the Clergy to be merciful.” She leaned back in her seat, folding her hands in front of her, “You’re dismissed.”

* * *

 

“I can’t believe she thought this was a punishment!” Alpha said as he stepped out of their van, gasoline tank at the ready. The old church building looked as dilapidated as they’d remembered it.

“I never wanted to see this place again,” Water said glumly, adjusting her mask as she sat behind the wheel, unwilling to exit the car, “I thought you didn’t either.”

“I didn’t, but now we get to burn it down!” he said, “That’s like the ultimate middle finger to these guys!”

“But what if we get caught?” Water said, “There’s no way the Clergy would be willing to get us out of it.”

“C’mon, that’s what the disguises are for!” Alpha said. Water sighed, summoning all her strength to haul herself out of her seat. She stood, slamming the door behind her.

“I don’t want to sound ungrateful or anything, but I’m not sure if these outfits will fool anybody,” she said, spreading her arms out to display her freshly pressed suit and eyeball mask.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. These look totally authentic!” Alpha said.

“But why would The Residents fly all the way to Sweden just to burn down some old church?” Water said, opening up the back door to retrieve her own tank from the trunk, “Aren’t they releasing a new album soon or something?”

“You’re overthinking this. Just be happy Imperator went easy on us," he said, moving next to her.

“Maybe it’s easy for you. I don’t see how it’s going easy on us to make us burn down a building. Even one infested with those...things,” she said, grabbing her gas tank and setting on the ground next to her.

“When you see a guy get stripped naked, paraded around for people to throw things at him, and beaten with a bunch of church offering baskets, it’s all relative,” he said, setting his own tank down next to hers.

Water stood frozen, one hand on the trunk door. She hoped Alpha didn’t notice the shiver that went up her spine.

“Listen,” he said, leaning in closer to her, “Even if it might not feel like it now, the church is a great place to be. The other Ghouls are the closest thing to a family I’ve ever had, and this place is worth dying for. You’ll know it eventually.” Water looked up at him.

“You think so?” she asked, her tone edging on hopeful.

“Course I do,” he said, placing a hand on her shoulder, planting the other down to steady himself, “...I know you can’t tell, but I’m flashing you a supportive smile under my mask.”

Water snorted as she went to close the trunk door, a new determination in her eyes. It was around this point that a genuine smile formed on her face, her first in days.

Which lasted until she realized she’d closed the trunk on his left hand.

**Author's Note:**

> Some "Fun" facts:  
> \- Who Water pretended to fight ended up changing a few times. Other candidates included Glen Benton, Dave Mustaine, and Joel Osteen.  
> \- Alpha's shirt actually exists and can be found in several places if you look for it.  
> -The song Alpha was humming was "Moneytalk" by AC/DC  
> \- The title is what I said to myself as I opened up a Google Doc to begin my first fanfiction in five years or so. It was originally just a placeholder, but I ended up finding it weirdly fitting for whatever reason.  
> Special thanks to HarmonyHHR for encouraging me to finish this draft I had lying around in my WIP folder since October!  
> 


End file.
